Joan “Mum with Nigel”

Joan Bonny address Dianna Bonny :

You will, I hope, never know the grief of a parent who suffers the untimely death of a loved son. Who committed suicide on the same day he received a restraining order containing horrendous lies. Who was served with these papers after he had just left hospital for a prior attempt at suicide.  Whose body was cremated with no funeral. Whose remains have been kept hidden from his mother, sister and brothers since his death in August 2010. Whose memorial tribute website was defaced by you with such vitriolic hatred that his family had to close it for 3 months.

All this is not something which can be described in the flowing language of well-crafted words.

You have now been blogging online as a “victim” for over a year. You have joined a writing club to describe your experiences “factually”. Your blogs have attracted a group of followers who have suffered real emotional hardship. You appear to be creating a cult of people in turmoil. They are all reading your horrible innuendos about my son’s behaviour. He cannot defend himself. I spoke to my son every week for many years. We were close. This is my response, and I have some unanswered questions for you to consider.

Will you let us know what became of Nigel’s ashes? His death certificate stated they were to be returned to me, and you had written to my family agreeing this? We do not even know if he had a coffin as there was no funeral. We asked you when he was to be cremated. You replied “I don’t know. I am far too busy arranging William’s birthday party to bother with such things” You had already served divorce papers on Nigel together with a Restraining Order which contained false allegations of child abuse, wife-beating, intent to kidnap, and stealing $500,000 from his employer. All false, yet served on a man on medications trying to recover from a suicide attempt a few days before.

Why do you behave as if you are the victim? You were divorcing him. He asked you to wait for the sake of the children. You threw him out of his home, banning him from returning or contacting his children, whom he loved enormously. You removed his access to bank credit for his basic needs and impounded his passport preventing him from recovering with family and friends abroad. The coroner found just 31 cents on him which she forwarded to me, along with his sad detailed repudiations of all your allegations on a restraining order you had served on him that same day.

After Nigel’s first attempt at suicide you telephoned both my daughter and myself saying “How DARE he attempt suicide in the best hotel in the area where we are known?” You said “Why couldn’t he do it in some back street motel?” Before he committed suicide one of his friends telephoned you begging you to go to the condo or contact the police and prevent what was happening. You replied “You are too late. He will be dead by now”. The police arrived just 10 minutes too late. We have extensive testimony and written correspondence, including Nigel’s final email copied to you. It was, and still is, terrible to read. Nigel’s death was a preventable tragedy.

 The past will stay with you as long as you continue to blog in public as the aggrieved victim. Be thankful that his insurance has allowed you to live in a lovely home with money in your bank. Please stop your “Fault Lines” survivor blogging in public. You know his family and the many friends he left behind can read them. Your ongoing comments are as hurtful as your public allegations on the restraining order you signed.

 Nigel’s real story is reflected online with a tribute website written by his friends and family. This online memorial was created at the request of Nigel’s many friends as the most appropriate way to share last respects. 

  http://nigel.bonny.muchloved.com/

 For the sake of your children, please, please let their father rest in peace.

 Joan Bonny

Proud mother of Nigel Antony Bonny